Yesterday was a long day. It's a good thing I started off with Bible reading. Whew. Constant is just a really good word to describe what life is like for me these days. Some days I handle the constant round of diaper changing, nose-wiping, drink-fixing, meal-making, cleaning up the toys, and then cleaning up the toys again, better than others. And by handle it, I mean handle it better emotionally. My outward behavior is probably not too different on days like yesterday, but inside I am barely hanging on to my sanity, mostly from the lack of one moment of solitude. I took a moment yesterday to make myself think logically (shocker), and I thought, "Okay, what are my other options here?" Actually, I said, "How did I end up here?" Answer: I fell in love and got married. Oh. Okay. Well, what if that had not happened. Where would I be? Working somewhere, wanting to fall in love and get married. Well, then.
What if I lived anywhere else in the world or at any other time in history? Misery. So, why am I complaining? And truly, to me sharing the trials of the day doesn't really fall under the category of complaining. It's simply sharing the trials of the day, knowing that I am not alone in them.
When both children were tucked in their beds last night, I pulled up a group of e-mails sent across the mysterious lines of the internet way back in the summer of 2002 and remembered how I ended up in the season of life I now find myself. After reading just one letter from KJ written from China, I had a smile on my face. And as we tucked our own selves in bed, I said, "Sometimes I think I just got really lucky. I didn't know how good I was getting it when I got you." I didn't know what I was getting, but the best maker of all marriages did. And I'm so thankful.
June 2002
The last time I saw KJ before he left for China
I would say this was the beginning, but the wheels had been set in motion long before that day. I love that man.
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