Do you mamas out there ever feel like watching your children grow up is painful? The passing of time that can never be gotten back is making my heart clinch-up each time I look at one of my children.
I held a newborn Tuesday night, and those sweet days of holding my newborns seemed so long ago. And you can't go back. The reality is that two years ago, and five years ago, aren't that many years, but those years bring about so much change in children.
My "baby" will be two on Saturday and is acting more like a big boy every day. It's taken me by surprise.
My girl is energetic, intelligent, and oh-so-sweet and expressive. I want to pull her out of school and hold on to her and keep every expression cemented in my brain. But I can't stop her from growing, and I don't want to really. I want to be a good mother and gradually let her gain her independence and see her live a fruitful, productive life, but it also makes me want to cry.
Mothers are just so emotionally connected to our children. They may push us to our limits and make us feel crazy sometimes, but at any moment we would do anything in the world for them.
Children serve as impossible-to-ignore, in your face
timepieces, marking the relentless march of one's life
through what otherwise might seem an infinite sea of
minutes, hours, days, and years.
- John Grogan, Marley and Me
I do feel more aware of the passing of time than previously, more aware of how each moment and season is precious, because you only get it once. I'm trying to hold on to the moments, even they're the most demanding (and therefore the most rewarding) of my life.
This. This is Exactly how I feel! Thank you for putting it into words.
ReplyDeleteLove you.
F