Adventures in Changing Diapers

Warning:  This post uses potty language.


It's always been an adventure (usually a messy one) changing James' diapers.  Knowing I was having a little boy made me nervous about changing his diaper from the get-go.  My nerves would be on edge waiting to be sprayed in the face, but my fears from that end were completely wasted.  It never once happened.  The few times that it did happen, James only succeeded in spraying himself in the face (and once my freshly painted wall) due to my having his legs tilted back while changing him.  But it was what came out of the other end that should have had me worried.  In those early newborn days I would smell something suspicious and like a good mother would quickly go about cleaning up my baby.  I would wipe that little bottom clean, and BAM!  I would be hit with breast-fed baby, yellow liquid poop EVERYWHERE.  And I do mean everywhere.  Once at 4 a.m. I found myself with a naked newborn on the floor of my den and my couch, rug, and pajama pants covered in poop.  There was only one thing to do at that point: "KJ!!! Help!"  


After the first six weeks things got better.  There were a few blissful months where changing my baby's diaper was simple and commonplace.  Then we reached the wiggle-worm stage.  You know, where your baby wriggles from side to side while you change them, kicking their legs, and rolling over.  I gave him a little grace.  He was learning new tricks; he couldn't quell that desire to move.  After a while it just became ridiculous, though.  Instead of getting over that spell of wriggling, it became an all out battle to change his diaper.  James would holler and carry on, I would holler and carry on.  James would roll over, dragging his poopy diaper with him.  This was no longer cute or acceptable.  Enter leg pops.  "No, no."  Tears of indignation.  How dare we tell him no.  But he has learned pretty well.  He will usually be still, pressing buttons on the remote control long enough to be quickly and adeptly changed.  Don't dilly-dally about it, though.  


Now we have a new problem.  He has dry skin on his lower back, upper bottom area, and every time we attempt a diaper change his little hands go back there and begin clawing himself.  He has horrible red scratch marks.  This can usually be taken care of quickly with only a wet diaper, but guess what happens when the diaper is dirty.  You guessed it.  Hands everywhere, me saying, "No, no," very sternly amidst  James' cries of indignation.  It is a veritable circus.  Ugh.  And yes, I do attempt, and would attempt, to moisturize his back more frequently if only he would be still long enough for me to do it.  You should see how quickly he races from his bedroom after his bath.