10 Years a Bride

Today feels momentous.  A 10-year anniversary seems very official.  As my brother-in-law said last night, "Maybe even grown-ups will take you seriously now."  Maybe.  

I wanted to string together some of my favorite moments from our wedding ceremony this year.  There was about a 4-year span when I didn't know where the wedding DVD was, so I was relieved to find it, and I had a good time watching it over and over yesterday.  It's always been my favorite wedding, but here at the 10-year mark it all seemed especially meaningful.  

There were the faces of loved ones that are no longer here with us, and that was bittersweet.  I just felt a deep thankfulness again for our families, especially for our parents.  I'm thankful for the way they've kept their marriage vows, and I'm so thankful for the sweetness of May 22, 2004, for every word spoken to us by our fathers that day, for the heritage of faith in Jesus that they've given us, for their willingness to "give of thy sons to bear the message glorious."  I am thankful for the laughter and the memories, for the people from Arab, Sylacauga, Jackson, and Gadsden, who came to celebrate with us and rejoice with our families.  

On our wedding day KJ's grandmother, Grammy, looked at me and said, "You only think you love him now.  You can't imagine how much better it will be."  My 22-year-old self, who never gave much thought to the future, certainly couldn't imagine how good it would be.  There are times when it is hard; there are times when the love overflows.  There are moments of not knowing how to handle things, moments of exasperation, moments of great joy.  There are times of exhaustion and times of  freedom and lightness of spirit.  The most beautiful thing is the persistent grace of God toward us, giving us hope that redemption and oneness is always possible, and by His kindness we keep believing that it is and finding it.  In keeping our covenant I really do have a better picture of a covenant-keeping God.

There's a real beauty in covenant-keeping.  I pray for more and more grace to keep loving well.

I cut down 45 minutes of video into a 12-minute collection of my favorite wedding clips.  That may still be too long for anyone but our parents to want to watch, and that's okay.  Ella's favorite part is the surprise ending but mostly just my spastic reaction to the surprise ending.  My dad got me good.

  Wedding Highlights from KJ Pugh on Vimeo.

Homecoming

Today is homecoming day.  KJ and Ella are coming home this morning.  When we sent Ella off to spend the night with grandparents last Wednesday night, we had no idea it would turn into a week-long absence.  Likewise, KJ went to work last Thursday morning, and that was the day the flu hit me so hard.  I packed him a bag and told him he couldn't come back home because this was so awful.  

So a full-week later James has been fever-free for 2 days, and I have been fever-free for 1, and I'm going to do one last sweep of the house with a can of Lysol, and perhaps life will return to normal.

Maybe I will even leave my house?  I haven't left it in 9 days.  It might be kind of hard to return to normal life...

My view of last week's snow

But I'm ready to be with my husband again, not just talk to him from a distance through the open front door.  I'm ready to hug Ella and teach her about WWII and plant our bean plant that is sky-high in a paper cup right now.  I'm so thankful it's homecoming day.

An Unexpected Friendship

One night a couple of weeks ago when KJ was in Haiti, I was running bathwater for the kids, trying to survive until bedtime, when Ella came running to the back of the house, saying someone was knocking at the door.  I don't think it was that late, only 7 p.m., but in the winter it's already pitch-black, and I was alone with the kids and not expecting anyone.  I was slightly nervous, and again really thankful for that random fellow who knocked on our door one day and offered to drill a peep-hole for us.  

It took my eyes a little while to adjust to the darkness, but then I saw one of our favorites:  Hillary!  Immediate joy erupted from my children, who I'm sure grow rather bored of me.

  She made my son so happy by saying, 

"Let's play LEGO Lord of the Rings."

I was so happy that she randomly dropped by; it was something that used to happen a lot when she lived in town, and it is something we will miss.  It made me feel very nostalgic about a season that has passed on, even though I am heart-deep happy for the new season she is entering in 4 days.

From the time we moved here 4 1/2 years ago, Hillary would drop in to hang out.  About 7 months after we moved here, we developed a routine where she would come over a couple of nights a week after class to watch Jack Bauer defeat terrorists and another hero named Jack unravel the mysteries of the island.  We saw her twice a week, but since it was late when the show was over, we didn't spend too much time talking afterwards, but sometimes doing "nothing" together sets the stage for a deep friendship to grow. 

I still remember the date, December 1, 2009, because it was James' 2-month birthday, when Hillary came over, and we decided to make chili. She said, "Hey, why don't we make dinner every week?"  And we did.  She started coming over earlier one night a week to hang out and cook dinner, and every single week we made a cookie cake.  That could not have been good for our waistlines.  But little by little, Hillary became a part of our family (even though, yes, she already was family...maybe I should say, a part of our daily family life.).  She changed James' diapers, colored with Ella, walked around Wal-Mart with the kids so I could concentrate on grocery shopping, and without me even realizing it, became such a gift to me during that season.

     Shared Birthday Parties...that we threw for ourselves

 XXL free t-shirts

Baby James

 Cookie Cake

 LOST Finale Party

 After moving to Nashville, she always came home bearing gifts.

 We went to DISNEY WORLD together!

I have the best husband in the world for making that happen.

 She didn't mind a little (or A LOT) of drool on her phone.

 Cookie Cake

I greatly benefited and enjoyed Hillary's help and friendship during 2010, and by early 2011, David Sikes was beginning to appreciate those wonderful qualities in her, too.  

We're so thankful to have been a part of their relationship and the work God is doing in them.  Since they met at our house and, and KJ gave David the push he needed to start their relationship, we take special ownership over these two. And we're going to miss them both like crazy.  But we're really happy for the two becoming one, and the leaving of father and mother, and leaving as Mr. and Mrs. that will be happening this weekend. 

Love, Love, Love

Ella is experiencing her first school Valentine's Day party right now as I write.  It was so sweet watching her carefully write the names of her classmates on little cards.  She was also very thoughtful picking them out; she didn't want to pass out Princess cards to little boys, so we picked out cards we thought could be enjoyed by both sexes. She's the most precious girl of them all.

We attempted a "Valentine" photo shoot a couple of Saturdays ago that didn't go quite as I planned, mostly because we had some unexpected company show up in the form of neighborhood friends.  Maybe we'll try again today.  Here are a couple of the kids with their "haa-t" suckers (as James says).

I also took a few of Luke with a red background.  Happy Valentine's Day, Mama.

I'm so thankful for the love of my life today, who saw me looking distressed late yesterday afternoon and when learning that it was because I wanted to exercise but didn't think I had time to do it before I made dinner said, "Do it.  Go do it.  I've got the kids and dinner."  

I'm thankful for how afterwards he said, "Go ahead and get a shower.  I'll bathe both the kids."

I'm thankful for how he took care of pajamas and listened to Ella's reading so I could run to Wal-Mart and pick up diapers and sinus medicine.

(FYI:  Don't ever mention to the pharmacist that you're picking up meds for your husband because now it's a state law that you can only buy it for yourself.  I've discovered I disapprove of pointless laws.  This happened to me a couple of days ago, so last night KJ said, "Just keep your head down, and buy the drugs.  Don't say who they're for." I disapprove of laws written for irresponsible people that keep responsible people from living freely.)

But getting back to thankfulness...it made me happy to come home and find my family like this.

all clean and sweet and having family time

Also, I'd just like to mention that James said "Yes" for the first time today.  He has twice today answered appropriately with yes.  I've observed that "No" is always the only answer kids give for a while.  I guess because it's easier to say, and most of the time much more fun.  But this morning..."Do you want the car?"  "Yes."  "What did you say?  Yes??"  "Yes."  

Just now..."James, did you go poo-poo?"  (Sorry for the potty language, KJ.  This is my life.)

"Yes."

James has never answered that question with a yes before this morning.  Hooray for yeses!! 

They're getting married!!

Isn't it fortunate that they started dating the same month 

KJ bought me a camera?

I think so.

I'm so excited about their marriage.

February is a month for love.

I like the way my brother-in-law looks at his wife.

He's kind of mischievous. 

And maybe his mischievousness is part of the reason T pulled out the 

sparkling cider on New Year's Eve...

and why Olivia looks a little nervous...

and why KJ gave a toast that included a hobbit reference.

Because these two are having a baby!!

And that is a good reason to celebrate.

We're so excited about a new baby Pugh.

(I saw this news announced on Facebook yesterday, so I figured I could spill the beans in the blog-world now.)

30

That's a 30-year-old me at my McDonald's birthday lunch.

It's the only place we can go with James because he can run free after he eats.

My external hard-drive isn't wanting to give away any of my other pictures, but Sunday really was a nice day...except for it being my last day with KJ for a week.  He had to leave for the airport at 4:45 a.m. yesterday when he left for Haiti.  My sweet husband made the day special before he left, though.  He coordinated a surprise party for me at church Sunday night and then surprised me with my family meeting at my brother's house that night.  It was all very sweet and encouraging.  

Honestly, it's hard at this exact moment to remember how good and encouraged I felt by fellowship with others, because I just miss KJ SSSSSOOOOOOOOO much right now.  I am never prepared for how it feels for him to be gone, and the feeling just gets worse every time he goes.  Maybe it's because the longer we're married the closer we've become?  

I keep starting to write something and then changing my mind.  I think I might be in need of an early bedtime.

The Most Life-Altering Decision of my 20s

I realized that writing about the "highlights of my 20s" felt really broad.  What exactly constituted a highlight?  The times I felt happiest?  The times I learned the most?  The most life-changing?  When I did something fun?  

Instead of a top ten list like I originally imagined, I decided to go with the top moments in a few smaller categories.  So obviously the most life-altering decision of not just my 20s but my entire life came when at age 21, I said, "Yes," to marrying Keith Harrison Pugh, Jr.  Nothing in my life would be what it is today without him.  There would be no Ella, no James, and I doubt I'd be living in Tuscaloosa.

James climbed up in my lap while I was editing the above picture, and said, "Da-da!  Mama!"  The people in the picture aren't the same people they are today in a lot of ways.  We didn't know what was before us, and we couldn't imagine our life now.  But...maybe KJ could.  I didn't think about the future much then.  I was living in the moment.  As KJ  was to learn, my idea of planning for the future consisted of, "Hey, let's buy a car!" and going out that week and buying it.  His idea would be to think and plan it all out a little farther in advance.  We balance each other out a bit.

The thing that comes to the forefront of my mind about the decision to marry KJ is that I had no idea how good the gift was that I was getting.  It was a decision that I made trusting and believing that it was God's plan for me, and it has been a better plan than I could ever have imagined...if I had actually sat down and imagined what it would be like, that is.  :)  But truly, from the moment my emotionally-overwhelmed 22-year-old self cried on his shoulder at our bed and breakfast over the sheer overwhelmingness of it all on our wedding night, leaving mascara stains all over his white button-up, and he was all graciousness and comfort, I knew I'd somehow gotten way better than I deserved.  (And don't worry, our wedding night did get better from there.  In my defense, it had been a very long and busy day on very little sleep.)  I'm so thankful for the gracious providence that directed my 21-year-old self to say, "Yes."

And I'm thankful I've spent every birthday of my 20s with KJ Pugh.

Once upon a time Katie sent an e-mail.

I took a few family pictures for KJ's sister for their Christmas card when they were here a couple of weeks ago.  After we got a few smiles from the kids, we let them run free and took a few pictures of Katie and David.  Mamas like having romantic pictures made with their husbands.  After all, once upon a time it was how the whole adventure of raising a family began.

Long before there was Facebook, a young lady sent an e-mail to a young man serving the Lord in Africa.  She reminded him of her relationship to his friend KJ and told him she had been reading his newsletters and was praying for him.  E-mail begat e-mail begat longer and longer e-mails, and David put a ring on her finger not long after his return home.  

And I think they're going to live happily ever after for sure.

He restoreth my soul.

Last year I wrote about the events that made September 1 a special day in our family.  Last night and this morning have been so busy the "special-ness" of the date was pushed way back in the farthest corner of my mind.  I was deep in the throes of signing and returning papers for school, overseeing homework, making dinner, and getting everyone to church on time.  

This morning was more of the same:  fixing Ella breakfast, quickly showering her since we weren't able to last night, dressing her, packing her lunch box, and trying to keep a cheerful countenance.  I didn't want my stress flowing on to her.  Unfortunately, my daughter is very perceptive and aware of my moods.  I suppose that comes from a combination of being female and having spent every waking moment with me until 3 weeks ago.  She didn't say anything, but she looked up at me as I was fixing her allergy medicine dose, stood up on her tip-toes, and kissed my cheek.  She's the sweetest girl in the world.  

Then she and KJ were out the door with quick kisses and "I love yous."  James was still asleep, and I sat down with my Bible, feeling overwhelmed by all of the frantic rushing about of the previous night and this morning.  I've been reading through the Psalms, and I had barely got my Bible open when my phone rang.  Ella wanted to tell me her Bible verse she and KJ were working on for school.  "Your word have I hidden in my heart, that I may not sin against You."  "She's happy" (from KJ).  

I picked up my reading where I left off yesterday in Psalm 126.  I read verse 3:

The LORD has done great things for us; we are glad.

I was reminded of what this date meant to KJ and I because this is the verse we chose for our wedding program.  It very perfectly and simply described our relationship.  The Lord had done great things for us, and we were glad.  

3 weeks before our wedding

I read on:

It is in vain that you rise up early

and go late to rest,

eating the bread of anxious toil;

for he gives to his beloved sleep.

Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, 

the fruit of the womb a reward.

- Psalm 127:2-3 -

Is it a coincidence that he mentions "anxious toil" and the need for rest right before he reminds us children are a reward?  It's hard work "building a house," trying to meet each physical, emotional, spiritual, and intellectual need of your children.  

September 1 marks the beginning of a lifetime commitment, the beginning of Ella's entrance into the world, the beginning of a house "built by the LORD."  I read on in Psalm 128 and hope that this will be the end of our story as well.

You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands;

you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you...

your children will be like olive shoots around your table...

May you see your children's children!

The reminder of today's date made me pull out a box of letters from KJ.  Scanning through them made me smile and laugh, remembering the early days of our relationship.  I'm so thankful for my husband, so thankful he chose to love me.  I found a letter that was obviously written after we were married, but otherwise I have no clue when it was penned.  I'll have to instruct KJ to date his missives to me after this.  It encouraged my heart and was the perfect ending to my meditation this morning, making me feel satisfied and content in all the Lord has done for us.

I know you have had a long day with many demands upon you,

but be of good cheer, my love, because we have much in the midst 

of our rushed lives to be thankful for.  Deep peace is our lot in life

because we have been so wondrously provided for by our great Father. 

Stop and think of His good provision for us and let your heart give thanks.

We have no excuse, no matter how busy we are, not to have a happy

and thankful heart...(tender sentiments omitted)... The Lord will

continue to take care of our problems and worries and wants until

the Day we receive our inheritance in glory...I pray that He will give your

soul rest, joy, and fellowship today.

And however many years later, He graciously continues to answer that prayer.

I Love...

I love a lot of you.  I just felt compelled today to reiterate how much I love these three who live under my roof.