16 Years of Marriage

Tomorrow is our 16th wedding anniversary, and I feel like K.J. and I have 15 years of low-key anniversary celebrations under our belt that have prepared us for an anniversary taking place during a pandemic when restaurants and cinemas are closed.  

Truly, we've always celebrated in whatever avenue felt natural at the time, no fancy dinners required.  Our celebrations are on a scale from last year's Starbucks date all the way to our two weeks in England on our 7th anniversary.

Each year on our anniversary and Valentine's Day I play a game that K.J. hates:  "Let's think about what we did on this day for the entire time we've been together!"  K.J. has a good memory, but it does not record that particular information.  I thought I'd be kind and do some digging through an old hard-drive.  Now we'll always know.

Year One

K.J. was cutting his own hair, I was young, and we were both a little pink from a day at the beach on Dauphin Island.  We went to visit my grandparents in Mobile and see friends after his sister's wedding.  It was our first year living in Louisville, Kentucky, and we are eating my Papa's famous shrimp and rice.  

Year Two

This is about a month before our second anniversary, and I only have this picture thanks to my dad!   I'm pregnant with Ella, and K.J., my dad, and I just loaded up a moving van with our belongings so we could move to a townhouse.  We also unloaded everything in the same day, and my body was so achy at the end of it.  No photographic evidence of our second anniversary exists.  Did we go to that Mexican restaurant down the street from our new place?  Did we go to Cheddar's?  Both seem possible, but no one knows now because the iPhone wouldn't be on the market until the next year.

Year Three

Again, I have no idea what we did to celebrate our actual anniversary.  My sister and brother-in-law were living in the Louisville area then; did they babysit for us?  Did K.J.'s brother baby-sit, because he was in college there at the time.  Again, no one knows.  I am sensing a theme here in how amazing the advent of the iPhone was in helping us remember things.  I know we went home to Alabama in May for my youngest brother's graduation, but I don't have those pictures here.  But here's our family of three at the Louisville Airport.  K.J. is picking up his girls who took the $69 Southwest flight from Louisville to Birmingham to celebrate his grandparents' 60th wedding anniversary.  K.J. had to stay behind and work, good man.

Year Four

May 2008 K.J. graduated from seminary, and we moved back to Alabama.  Photographic evidence says it was a low-key anniversary.  A new friend let us borrow the key to her neighborhood pool, so we took Ella.  I have another picture of Ella holding up a picture to the wall in our new house to see if it would look good there.  I feel sure we must have gone to eat or to a movie, though.  After all, we had just moved to the same city with K.J.'s parents.  Surely we took advantage of free and glad babysitters.  Prince Caspian was in theaters then.  I bet we went.

Year Five

Now I completely remember our 5th anniversary, though there is no photographic evidence of the day of course.  This might be the first year K.J. planned something that was tailor-made for my delight.  Maybe it takes five years to really get to know your spouse.  

I was pregnant with James and was just reaching the point of needing new clothes.  K.J. planned a night away at a hotel in Birmingham.  We left Ella behind, and the best part was he told me not to pack anything; I could go shopping for everything I needed when we got there.  We ate dinner at P.F. Chang's at the Summit.  We went to Old Navy and Barnes and Noble.  The following day the shopping continued at the Galleria.  It was the perfect gift to me.

Year Six

Year six K.J.'s brother ended up marrying on our anniversary, and I will for.ev.er remember this day, because that woman in the picture only slept about two hours the night before because a 7-month-old James had just learned to press up on his arms.  He slept on his stomach at the time, so each time I put him down asleep in the crib he would immediately wake up and press up on his arms and cry.  I finally grabbed a couple of hours with him sleeping on my chest in the bed.  I can vividly see myself in the shower at my grandmother's house that morning before a full day of wedding parties and pictures leaning my head on the wall and praying, "Oh, God, I feel like I'm going to die."  But God was gracious, and weddings are exciting and fun, so I made it.  And K.J.'s cousin Hillary baby sat for us when we got back home so we could go out, so double picture time.  Double picture time because guess who finally got a good camera and started taking pictures and never stopped?!

Namaste sign because the series finale of LOST was the night before, and we had a viewing party.

Year Seven

The day of our anniversary fell on a Sunday, and we went to Olive Garden after church with friends that night to eat.  I think the kids were with my parents because K.J. had just arrived back home from Cuba, and we'd had a wedding the night before.  But our big celebration was our Year of Jubilee trip to England in the fall of that year.  It was a life-changing, life-forming trip.

Year Eight

Apparently Ella graduated from Kindergarten on our 8th anniversary.  This picture is with K.J.'s grandparents the night before graduation.  I feel like we took her to the McDonald's at Wal-Mart beforehand?  I told you we weren't fancy restaurant people.  I'm sure we must have marked the occasion in some way, but all I remember is Kindergarten graduation and learning Ella had the highest GPA in Kindergarten.  I love the matching sneers Ella and James have in this picture.

Year Nine

After a mission trip to serve Emmanuel International Church in Paris we stayed an extra week to celebrate our ninth anniversary.  When the occasion presents itself, K.J. outdoes himself.  We drove around Normandy for three days, staying in different places, but the main anniversary surprise was staying at this chateau with a Marquis and Marquess.  It was a dream...but I left a new sweater there that I still miss.  This trip would also turn out to be life-changing and life-directing.  It really cemented in our hearts that we felt called towards Europe.

Year Ten

Ella made me the necklace I'm wearing for our anniversary, and I wore it to a retirement party for a dear friend of ours.  After the party we had dinner at Panera Bread and went to Barnes and Noble afterwards where I had a coffee frappe.  It wasn't fancy, but it was us.  

Year Eleven

Anniversary eleven we were six months into living in England.  Friends kept our kids for us, and we drove to York to keep up with American culture and had dinner at a French restaurant after I turned down the crazy first restaurant K.J. tried to take me to with a lot of animal heads on the wall.  I had Camembert for dinner, so I was happy.

Year Twelve

Ella made K.J. and I these matching badges to wear to church.  In England kids often wore badges to school on their birthday.  It was the day of the family bike ride to a neighboring village, and Ella and K.J. took off only to return a little later because Ella had a stomach virus.  But I had just discovered Marks & Spencer in a neighboring town, and I bought one of their weekend deals, so we parented and ate individual desserts out of small jars.

Year Thirteen

Look, another Marvel movie!  The kids were in school, so we were able to go to brunch in Harrogate and then to our first movie on a sofa where we ordered snacks and drinks from a waiter.  Fancy.

Year Fourteen

A lot happened in a year.  On our 14th anniversary we'd been living in Paris for four months, and Lua and Seth were visiting.  They oh, so kindly hung out with the kids for us, and we went to Five Guys and to a movie.  I don't remember what, but I feel like it had to be another Marvel movie, doesn't it?  It's just that time of year.  Yep, it was totally Black Panther.  We got caught in the rain walking back from the Metro and took this picture to document in the courtyard of our apartment.

Year Fifteen

Last year we started out dreaming big--fly to Venice for $50?, go see Hugh Jackman perform, dinner at the Greek restaurant in our town?--and ended up going to the mall, ordering iced coffee for me and chocolate chaud for him.  It felt right.

If you stuck with me for that marital history, you're a dear.  This is mainly for us to remember, and it was fun.  It's good being married to K.J. Pugh.  He loves me well, and I'm grateful.

Friday Favorites, vol. vii

Yay, Friday!  We've had a really good week 'round these parts enjoying having Seth here with Lua and enjoying Paris together.  After lots of walking the kids and I are looking forward to a day at home.  I need to catch up on laundry and housework and prepare for the weekend ahead.  Our host here in Paris works for the American Battle Monuments Commission, the government agency that honors the sacrifices of American Armed Forces in part by caring for American Cemeteries in foreign countries.  There are a lot of big ceremonies taking place this Memorial Day weekend in France, and I'm helping by photographing at two of the ceremonies outside of Paris on Sunday.  It will be a full day, but I'm really looking forward to it.

On to my favorite things this week!

1.  watching the royal wedding with a newly-formed book club I'm part of

Weddings are just beautiful and special in all they represent, and I was glad I tuned in to watch.

2.  walking around Paris Sunday night with Seth and Lua

We typically try not to keep the kids out too late, but with the long summer nights kicking in and the nice weather and Seth having arrived, we made an exception to the rule.  It was such a gorgeous night and totally worth it.

Emily P. Freeman's The Next Right Thing podcast is always a weekly favorite for me, and last week's episode was about taking a hometown tour.  Paris is obviously not my hometown in the sense that I'm from here, but it is my hometown for this season, and I appreciated her gentle words:

"Whether you just moved to where you live now,

or if you were born in the hospital down the street--

the place where you live is part of who you are now.

This place holds your story, at least a piece of it.

This is the place where God wants to meet you,

for better or worse."

And her closing prayer was so good:

"Remind us that even as you are the God of Israel,

you are the God of our own hometown, too."

It reminded me of one of my favorite passages from the book of Acts.

"From one man he has made every 

nationality to live over the whole earth 

and has determined their appointed times 

and the boundaries of where they live.  

He did this so that they might seek God, 

and perhaps they might reach out and find him, 

though he is not far from each one of us."

- Acts 17:26-27 -

All the places you and I have lived, and where we live right now, are purposeful.

3.  meeting a couple from Denmark on Sunday

Speaking of all the nationalities and boundaries on earth, one of the joys I'm finding of being part of an international church in an international city is meeting people from all over the world as they are passing through Paris.  I'd never met anyone from Denmark before, and the immediate kinship you feel with other Christians is such a sweet thing, as is hearing about how God has used the places they've lived to cause them to seek him.

4.  anniversary date!

We abandoned the thought of a fancy Paris outing for Five Guys and a summer blockbuster.  I don't think we're fancy people.

5.  a long talk with my mom

This time difference thing makes it so difficult to connect with family back home, so I was grateful when K.J. took the kids out for the afternoon this week, and I had some quiet time to "phone home."  FaceTime makes you feel like you're sitting on the sofa for a nice long chat, and it was such a treat.  

Happy Memorial Day weekend, everyone!

14 Years

One of the best things I ever did was edit our wedding ceremony down to 12 minutes that I can watch every year.  It is such a delight.  

This year I felt really aware of those who took part in that special day who are now with Jesus:  my piano teacher, Mrs. June, K.J.'s Pop and my Papa.  

Wedding Highlights from KJ Pugh on Vimeo.

I'm so thankful to my parents who have "given of their sons to bear the message glorious."  I'm thankful for my mom who made all the wedding day decisions because choosing things stresses me out.  I'm thankful to my dad who loves surprises.  I still laughed with joy when the cannons blew out streamers and confetti.  

And most of all I need to be thankful to a loving God, a Father who chose K.J. Pugh for me because decisions stress me out, and I couldn't have chosen so well on my own.  It's a gift to be his wife.

Summer Vacation - Monday Musings, vol. iii

This week is an exciting one for us because it's our first week of summer vacation.  My 14th wedding anniversary is tomorrow, which warranted a day off from teaching school, and our friend and Lua's husband Seth is here this week.  Both of these things together made deciding to end school a week earlier than I planned seem like a good idea.  So we are!

But here's the truth about a home-school summer, you still kind of do a lot of the same things, but with the freedom to not do them.  We'll still read books and do some creative writing.  And I'll make the kids do a page of math now and then, and maybe we'll even do the occasional science experiment?  Who knows?!  But we'll be free to enjoy the most beautiful time of the year.  It will also give us time to really take advantage of living in Paris proper for the next month.  If all goes well, we expect to be moving into a place of our own in a suburb of Paris in the next month or two.  All the moving logistics that will need to be taken care of are another good reason to be done with school in the month of June.  I just realized I'm giving all kinds of reasons for ending school at the end of May because when K.J. let that drop to a French man we were speaking with, I felt like he thought we were irresponsible parents since French kids go to school into July.  I promise we haven't been taking all these holidays French kids have had the past couple of months!  I kind of felt like I needed to say.  

I can't believe it's our last week with Lua.  She feels like part of our family, and she's been such a blessing to so many in our community here.  We thought she would be here longer, but hallelujah, her green card interview has been scheduled for early June so she'll hopefully be joining her husband soon, which is where she belongs.  We'll let her go right after she babysits for us so we can go out for our anniversary.  😊

"If ever two were one, then surely we.

If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.

If ever wife was happy in a man, 

Compare with me, ye women, if you can."

- Anne Bradstreet -

11 Years

What's Changed:

• Our hairstyles
• the color of KJ's jacket
• Our iPhones have more megapixels than our first digital camera.
• KJ's glasses

What's the Same

• He still waits for me to get ready.
• my mascara technique
• KJ still has that shirt.
• He still tells me I'm pretty before we go out the door.

I wouldn't want to be married to any other.

Tuscaloosa Tuesdays: A Year Ago

One year ago today we left Tuscaloosa and flew into Manchester, met Del and Laura and many others face-to-face for the first time, and spent our first night in Boroughbridge.

2014 was such a year of waiting and praying and waiting and praying some more, but even so, a lot can happen in a year.  We're really thankful that all the waiting and praying led us here.

I accidentally read the wrong day's reading in a daily book of prayers I read, but as usually happens, it was a timely reminder for my heart today looking forward to the year ahead, just as it was a good word for me this time last year as we waited and prayed and kept walking forward by faith.

 

 

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,

and do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make straight your paths.

- Proverbs 3:5-6 -

 

It is comforting to look back and see how He has made our paths straight, and to remember He will keep on doing so.  

10 Years a Bride

Today feels momentous.  A 10-year anniversary seems very official.  As my brother-in-law said last night, "Maybe even grown-ups will take you seriously now."  Maybe.  

I wanted to string together some of my favorite moments from our wedding ceremony this year.  There was about a 4-year span when I didn't know where the wedding DVD was, so I was relieved to find it, and I had a good time watching it over and over yesterday.  It's always been my favorite wedding, but here at the 10-year mark it all seemed especially meaningful.  

There were the faces of loved ones that are no longer here with us, and that was bittersweet.  I just felt a deep thankfulness again for our families, especially for our parents.  I'm thankful for the way they've kept their marriage vows, and I'm so thankful for the sweetness of May 22, 2004, for every word spoken to us by our fathers that day, for the heritage of faith in Jesus that they've given us, for their willingness to "give of thy sons to bear the message glorious."  I am thankful for the laughter and the memories, for the people from Arab, Sylacauga, Jackson, and Gadsden, who came to celebrate with us and rejoice with our families.  

On our wedding day KJ's grandmother, Grammy, looked at me and said, "You only think you love him now.  You can't imagine how much better it will be."  My 22-year-old self, who never gave much thought to the future, certainly couldn't imagine how good it would be.  There are times when it is hard; there are times when the love overflows.  There are moments of not knowing how to handle things, moments of exasperation, moments of great joy.  There are times of exhaustion and times of  freedom and lightness of spirit.  The most beautiful thing is the persistent grace of God toward us, giving us hope that redemption and oneness is always possible, and by His kindness we keep believing that it is and finding it.  In keeping our covenant I really do have a better picture of a covenant-keeping God.

There's a real beauty in covenant-keeping.  I pray for more and more grace to keep loving well.

I cut down 45 minutes of video into a 12-minute collection of my favorite wedding clips.  That may still be too long for anyone but our parents to want to watch, and that's okay.  Ella's favorite part is the surprise ending but mostly just my spastic reaction to the surprise ending.  My dad got me good.

  Wedding Highlights from KJ Pugh on Vimeo.

Jamie + Jenni's One Year Anniversary

Jenni asked me to take a few pictures to commemorate her first wedding anniversary, and it was so much fun.  She made the job easy since she had a plan for the pictures she wanted.  It had been a while since I photographed adults; they're a tad bit easier to get situated than children. 

She brought a slice of their wedding cake, which had been frozen, and I loved that she brought milk in their champagne glasses.  I don't know if the taste of the cake made it through the first year as well as Jamie and Jenni did.

See what I mean?  At least they had milk to wash it down.

I asked them what most surprised them about marriage after one year.  Jamie had a good answer:  "How often she'd be right."  :)

Here's to many more happy anniversaries for them.

Franco Fridays: Monet's Garden

The first destination of our 9th anniversary trip was Giverny and the house and gardens of Claude Monet.

The day started a bit on the rainy side ("a light French rain" that we always refer back to now), but by the time we reached our destination the day had turned glorious, and I don't think there could have been a better time to visit a place like this.

At first glance, the colors of Monet's house reminded me of a Florida condominium, but all the colors made it seem like the appropriate habitation of an artist.

Pictures would have been a little better if it hadn't been full sun at the time we were there, but what can you do?

The garden was a beautiful place, and every kind of flower imaginable was in bloom (not that I actually know the names of very many flowers).

 After walking through the garden, we followed a winding stream to the famous lily pond.

I didn't want to look creepy, but I couldn't help snatching a quick shot of this little French girl in her beret, sketching flowers.  She completed the scene.

It was a very peaceful, very lush and verdant place.  I'm afraid this is beginning to feel like a picture overload, but it's hard to contain yourself in a place like this.  

You could while away a lot of hours in this place.  Come to think of it, we probably did...until KJ started hinting that we needed to move along if we wanted to make our next destination.

Photography wasn't allowed inside the house, but each room was painted a different bright color than the last.  I especially loved all the blue and white tile in the kitchen.

 
The tulips were divine.

He's such a stud carrying my camera bag around for me...even though he's posed in front of a pink house and pink tulips.

We found a place there to grab a quick lunch, and we were on our way.