The Mommy Diaries

So here we are on Thursday, the third full day without KJ.  I've had to do the following things myself:

• clean the hair out of the drain in the shower (for some reason, KJ always takes care of this)
• take the trash out to the road
• hand out vitamins and brush kids' teeth at night
• clean poop off the floor

Now we come to it.  That fourth item has been filling my days since KJ left.  James decided to become terrified of doing this in the toilet, though he does try to make it.  He doesn't want to take the time to just sit and wait it out, so he waits until he's in the process of going to run to the bathroom, just in time to kick off his underwear or pull-up and spread poop on the floor, his legs, and the toilet.  (I'm really trying to write this as delicately as possible.)  It's been such fun.

Last night James was HYPED up.  He ran all over the church, snitching sugar cookies off the table before I could catch him, and generally being a whirlwind of activity.  (Let me add that he is snuggling in my lap as I write this.  Thank goodness he's a snuggler, too.)  I finally made the call to get out of there, and the ride home was so, so loud.  Ella and James went back and forth in the loudest voices possible, while I tried to keep the car in my lane and not lose my mind.  The evening hours are hardest without KJ.  By that point, I've been momming it for 12 hours, and my brain can't handle the noise level anymore.  

So, I'm holding it together, "Almost bedtime, almost bedtime, almost bedtime...".  We get home, and James made a run for the toilet, came back in the living room with no underwear, then started freaking out, yelling for me to put his pants back on.  He just needed to go.  I told him no, that he needed to go to the potty.  He didn't want to, but the situation became dire, and he headed that way.  He did, however, leave little presents across the kitchen floor as he went, though.  

Oh, my goodness.  At that point, I felt so frustrated, but then just started laughing hysterically instead.  And being the 21st-century mom that I am, I took a picture with my iPod.  I'm going to refrain from posting it, but if Instagram is about capturing little moments in daily life that used to go undocumented, that moment qualified.  Poop in the floor has been my life this week, and though one part of my mind felt frustrated and crazy, the other part felt the joy and the craziness of this season of motherhood.  So I laughed.  And then we made this video.  This is my life this week.