Resurrection Thoughts

I am the resurrection and the life.

Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live.

- John 11:25 - 

"It is a far, far better thing that I do, 

than I have ever done.

It is a far, far better rest that I go to

than I have ever known."

- Sydney Carton, giving his life for the ones he loved,

having been upheld by the promise of Jesus

in "A Tale of Two Cities" - 

Saturday

Today has brought a lot of little "happy's" to my life along with some fun.  Here are a few in random order:

• Sleeping until 7:40 a.m.  KJ did some kind of miracle sleep training with James while I was in Florida, and he sleeps until nearly 8 a.m. every morning now.  I love it.  I've had two weeks of between 7 and 8 hours of sleep.  Can I just reiterate that that is the longest span of good sleep in a year and a half for me?  I am so thankful.
• Sunny, blue skies  I love waking up in a sun-brightened room.
• Hillary is at my house again.  She is staying with us while she films a fall retreat for some churches in town.  She helps me so much just by being here.  She holds James down while I change his diaper, picks him up when he cries, plays imaginary games with Ella while I work out.  Live-in help is really nice.
• James' naps  I'm not sure why, perhaps it is a growth spurt, but not only is James sleeping almost 12 hours at night, but he is taking 2- 1 hour and 45 minute naps during the day.  That's pretty helpful, but I'm trying not to get used to it.
• Playing Super Mario on the Wii  I rediscovered this game Tuesday night, and I played some more yesterday and today.  It's really fun, and  I love the graphics.  James enjoys watching me play, and Ella cheers me on.  I'm trying to model good video game-playing manners, though.  No getting upset and yelling at the t.v. (not that I would ever do something like that).
• KJ's home  It's fun having daddy home.  I'm very thankful for a house filled with love and laughter.  I love my husband.  I'm glad he loves me and still thinks I'm beautiful when I wake up in the morning.
• God's Word  Another amazing result of being well-rested in the morning is a renewed desire to read my Bible at the start of each day.   It's such a hard discipline to keep up with a baby, but this is day 3 of starting the day like that again.  It feels good.

"Playing" the Wii

I'd also like to mention that James ate chalk today.  Ella was writing on her little chalkboard and dropped a piece we couldn't find.  James found it and took a big bite out of it.  We just heard the gagging.  I guess he's okay.

On the Mountaintop

Last night I got in my car and drove off into the sunset.  For a few minutes I felt like I did the first week of my freshmen year of college.  It suddenly hit me that I was free.  I could do anything I liked whenever I liked.  I got in my car and drove to the beach.  It was a glorious afternoon, alone and unhindered.  My spirit has felt like that a lot lately, as if I'm standing on a precipice almost able to see beyond the veil into eternity.  God's Word has seemed very real, and His Spirit has been giving me understanding.  


I haven't read Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest in so long, but I picked it up a few days ago when I had a brief and quiet moment.  Here's what I read:

After every time of exaltation we are brought down with a sudden rush into things as they are where it is neither beautiful nor poetic nor thrilling.  The height of the mountain top is measured by the drab drudgery of the valley; but it is in the valley that we have to live for the glory of God.  We see His glory on the mount, but we never live for his glory there.  It is in the sphere of humiliation that we find our true worth to God, that is where our faithfulness is revealed.  Most of us can do things if we are always at the heroic pitch because of the natural selfishness of our hearts, but God wants us at the drab commonplace pitch, where we live in the valley according to our personal relationship to Him.  Peter thought it would be a fine thing for them to remain on the mount, but Jesus Christ took the disciples down from the mount into the valley, the place where the meaning of the vision is explained.

So last night I drove to the library for a few minutes of solitude, checked out a few random books, then went back home to the place of my glory and humiliation.  There I find sweet little hearts that will grow into my joy and crown.  I also find constant demands for my time and attention where little people cry and whine when I try to tell them, "no," for their own good, a place where all my sin and selfishness comes flowing out of my heart for all to see.

When you were on the mount, you could believe anything, but what about the time when you were up against facts in the valley?  You may be able to give a testimony to sanctification, but what about the thing that is a humiliation to you just now?  The last time you were on the mount with God, you saw that all power in heaven and in earth belonged to Jesus--will you be skeptical now in the valley of humiliation?   

My one-year-old is interrupting my spiritual pondering trying to grab the thumb drive out of the computer, and my four-year-old is whining and pouting because I made her move out of her little brother's way.  Thus begins another day.  It's a good thing His mercies are new each morning and as Anne says, "It's a new day with no mistakes in it yet."

I wouldn't mind going back to that mountaintop. 

Fall at Last

When we left for Florida two weeks ago, Tuscaloosa was still in the throes of 90 degree weather, yet suddenly, shortly after our return, fall arrived.  I'm so glad it's finally here.

We attended my cousin's outdoor wedding on Saturday, and James loved it.  I've been keeping my poor boy indoors a lot, mostly because of the heat but also because his sinuses do not like the plants and weeds blooming around our house, and a walk around the block usually results in a runny nose.  But I should have known my adventuresome son would love grass.  He was fascinated by it.

He loved to touch the grass, walk in it, and he was especially happy with the stick he found.

Ella wouldn't agree to smile with her daddy, but a picture with Aunt Nicole brought a beautiful smile to her face.

This morning we went for a walk around the neighborhood.  James especially enjoyed it.  He is such a sweet and precious boy, but he has been especially frustrated over the past 5 days (since his first birthday to be exact).  He wants to walk so badly and wants us holding on to his hands all day, but even that is growing tiresome for him.  I think he also gets bored with the house.  All morning he was communicating through frustrated whines.  I went out the garage door to get the stroller set up and heard the door open a few seconds later.  When I looked over my shoulder I saw a little boy's head peeking into the garage, "Bye, bye."  He was very eager for the morning jaunt.  This verse was on my mind when I woke this morning.

Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits, even the God of our salvation.

- Psalm 68:19 -

Morning Bible Reading

You have led in your steadfast love the people whom you have redeemed; you have guided them by your strength to your holy abode.

 -Exodus 15:13-

I actually read this morning about the crossing of the Red Sea, but I was reminded of how much I love this scene from The Prince of Egypt.  Ella and I also watched the portion of the movie when God parts the Red Sea and the Israelites walk to freedom.  It was a joyful thing to explain the story and answer her questions.  "What is happening?  Who is God?"  (I bet you would love to hear how I answered that one. 

Having His Cake...and Eating It, Too

Here are just a few pictures of James eating his cake.

(Pictures taken so kindly and so well by Jeffrey Kintner)

To James

Your mommy and daddy found out you were coming just when we most wanted to hear this news.  Mommy wanted you so badly.  We knew from the beginning it was you God had planned for this time and this hour and not the baby we lost.  We were so happy about you, and Mommy has worried about you a little more as a result.  We had some cause for concern halfway through, but you were born perfectly whole and healthy one year ago today.  Everyone said you were so big, my little 8 lb. 9 oz. baby boy, but you were tiny to me, who now had a 3-year old at home.  I worried when you didn't have bowel movements according to the "schedule," but you were fine.  Soon you were having projectile bowel movements at 4 a.m. all over me, the couch, and the carpet.

You were the quintessential sleepy newborn, something I had not experienced with your sister.  You only stayed awake long enough to nurse and have your diaper changed before you were ready to go back to sleep.   Forty minutes of awake time was the most I could get out of you.  It was a big deal when you started staying awake for an hour.  You slept for about the first 3 months of your life, so a transition to mommy of two didn't feel like it really came for me until later.  

You have always had the sweetest spirit and as soon as you woke up from your newborn sleep, you became so communicative.  You babbled, squealed and cooed from about 2 1/2 months until the present day.  Your smiles came frequently, and it was so fun to cuddle and nap with you.  At 5 months old you suddenly started sleeping all through the night, and I was thrilled.  After 5 nights of this bliss, you started waking up from naps with cries of pain and soaking your shirt with drool.  Here came your first tooth.

Check out that wet onesie...all his own drool.

So began several months of hit and miss sleep.  Once more I became the exhausted mother of an infant, losing my 700 hours of sleep like a champ.  But I wouldn't trade those nights in the rocking chair with you for anything (well, maybe I would have accepted a couple of extra hours of sleep a night).  I now know exactly what comes on television between 2 and 3 a.m.  (In case you're interested you can watch Three's Company, The Patty Duke Show, and Red Eye on Fox.  Incidentally, I would never have known that the Fox News Channel had a late-night show if it weren't for James.)  Despite my exhaustion, I loved my hours of snuggling with you.  

At 8 months you started crawling and a few days later stood up on your own for the first time.  You have been on the go ever since, exploring our house from one end to the other.  You have always had big hands, and we also found that you had surprising strength.  You could pull the vacuum cleaner out of the closet and push it down the hall.  You also could push the bar stool across the floor with Ella sitting in it.  You love to go in rooms and shut the door behind you so you can get into mischief.  You crawl after your sister all day long.  You quickly figured out the best way to get my attention was to open the "no-no" cabinet in the hall.  If your daddy and I would let you, you would hold on to our hands all day long so you could walk around the house.  You always throw a fit when we let go of those hands.  I think you could take a few steps if you tried, but you don't want to take the time to practice.  You'd rather be on your way now.  You are on full throttle when you are awake, but you still love to take a nap with the best of them.  You always let me know when you are ready, pulling up on my leg and whining.  You love music, and you know how to get the beat just like Ernest T.  Watching movies is also a favorite past time.  When we walk in the living room you point at the television.  "Movie," I ask?  "Wa, wa, wa, wa," you respond.  I take that as a yes.  

Oh, my James, you are so much fun.  I can't believe you are already one.  I love all your mischievous ways:  playing in the toilet, knocking over lamps, climbing in the dishwasher, making a break for the garage.  Who knew having a boy would be such an adventure?  I certainly didn't.  I couldn't imagine anything better than my girl, who loved trips to Target, the library and walks around the neighborhood.  I'm so glad you are part of our family.  Happy Birthday to you.

His birthday present was a hit.

He liked his new cell phone, too.

We had a lot of morning sunlight in the living room this morning.

Thus, the shadows.