My back-to-school struggle is one I'm sure a lot of people with kids have struggled with during the pandemic when work moved to the home office and school went virtual.
At this point in my homeschooling career my kids don't need me for every little thing. They are learning to be self-starters. They know what they need to do each day, but even so, I'm still needed as organizer, conversation-starter, helper-with-math-problems, giver-of-essay-ideas, grader-of-answers, and recorder-of-grades and lessons, not to mention my duties of lunch-lady and janitor.
The struggle that comes with being needed but not needed every moment is the struggle I've always had being home with my kids: the times I'm needed for intensive help are scattered throughout the day, and the times I'm ready to be an engaged helper, nobody needs me. This is not dissimilar to the phenomenon of siblings fighting when you have nothing for them to do and playing together having the time of their lives when it's time to start school. Or the baby never napping well but deciding to take the best nap of his life the one day you made plans that week.
At the times they need/want me, I've usually just started working on my own project, and I struggle shifting my brain from one line of thought to another quickly. The mood can so swiftly shift from nobody needing me to people needing me to make decisions and give directions immediately. This makes it hard to plan.
I always have a long list of things to do, and when the interruption comes, I have to choose again, and all the constant choices and changes of direction make my brain tired. This can come out as resentment at my family needing me, but the truth is it's the constant decision-making that wears me down.
Interruptions are inevitable, and they are a great way to practice patience, self-denial, and kindness, but I'm also thinking it would help if we decide on a time I can count on being uninterrupted. Doing that might help with all the inevitable interruptions the rest of the time. That's the beauty of older kids: they'll happily cooperate if I just take the time to sit down and decide. For younger kids, there's always screen time for when you just need thirty minutes to an hour. For the inexplicable nap schedules of infants, there is only praying for more grace to keep laying your life down for that helpless babe. One day they'll be able to fend for themselves longer.
What's your back-to-school struggle? Is it completely different this year because of COVID-19?
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