This morning I woke with a gasp just before 5 a.m. and jumped out of bed to check on James.
He hit his head yesterday and had a goose-egg on the back of it, and I have no desire to relive the moment, except to say it was so terrifying. And in the following hours, even though he never had any of the symptoms they say you should look for with a head injury, my heart was still a mess of worry and fear, because he's my baby, and I was powerless. And as James danced around and played the Wii (lots of extra gaming hours last night as we kept him up longer than usual to make sure he was okay), and I talked with KJ in the kitchen, he reminded me that what I felt in the moment James got hurt is really the way things are all of the time. We're not really in control ever. We are always in the complete care of our Heavenly Father, and He loves James more than I do.
I jumped out of bed this morning and ran to James' room, making sure he was still breathing.
I turned on the computer and was reminded of the lunar eclipse happening at that very moment, and when I peeked out my back door I had a perfect view.
I scurried around to find my tripod and adjust camera settings, and just stood out on the back deck watching the moon slowly disappear.
And I thought about how there is a God who holds planets and moons in orbit.
I thought about what Clyde Kilby wrote, "At least once every day I shall look steadily up at the sky and remember that I, a consciousness with a conscience, am on a planet traveling in space with wonderfully mysterious things above and about me."
I think the hard thing is trusting in His goodness and care even should the worst thing happen. But that has always been the hard thing and is not unique to me.
And then it seemed like the moon disappeared, the sky was empty, and there were only stars for awhile. But this planet kept on moving until you could see the moon again.
I'm thankful for mercies made new each morning, another chance to trust the giver of that good gift.
"Even if I turn out to be wrong, I shall bet my life on the assumption
that this world is not idiotic, neither run by an absentee landlord,
but that today, this very day,
some stroke is being added to the cosmic canvas that in due course
I shall understand with joy as a stroke made by the architect
who calls himself Alpha and Omega."
from Clyde Kilby's Resolutions
I absolutely loved reading your thoughts! It's always a blessing!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Ashley! That is so encouraging to me.
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