What Mothering Felt Like: 9.19.12

I wanted to record and remember so many things from yesterday.  I want to remember them for myself, to remember what all the wonderful craziness feels like when these years are over.  And when I'm brought into relationship with younger women in later years and I'm one of those older women that they think can't possibly understand or remember the things they're experiencing, I have a written record, the things I thought and felt when "I was right there in it," as Ernest T. Bass so aptly put it.

There are so many steps you have to go through just to get out the door, and it really never pays to announce that you're going somewhere before all the steps are completed.  If you do, you'll trip over one of your children every time you turn around as they dog your every footstep, asking if they can go ahead and get in the car.  

As we drove down the road yesterday morning, James sang along to the Seeds of Praise cd.  It's the sweetest thing, hearing him sing scripture, and it makes my heart so happy.  It's always so surprising how much young children are taking in from the world around them.  It makes you hope and pray God protects and spares from those times your patience wears thin.

Turn it down!

After I turn the music down...

Where's Da-da?

He's at work.

Okay.  Turn it up!

James is growing and maturing so much lately, and he waited patiently and with perfect obedience to instruction while I made copies at the FedEx store.  I was so proud of him, but know this, young parent.  It is a hard thing for toddlers/preschoolers to make it through more than one stop in a single outing from home.  Target started out well, but by the end, the boy who woke up a little earlier than normal was throwing pint-size fits.  Mild stress levels commenced for me, and seeing as it was lunch time, a bag of crunchy Cheetos came off the shelf.  Oh, yes, you'll be surprised what you will allow your children when you're trying to focus on the task at hand, and you have a preschooler who doesn't want to stay in the buggy...unless given a snack.  Ella's always so sensitive to my moods.

Mom, I know you're distressed...

The afternoon was short and crazy, with James' nap being interrupted by his trouble with bowel movements, preparing for church, catching up on missed morning school time with Ella.  But Ella's a sweet grown-up girl, and James was precious even without a good nap, so excited to play with his new flashcards.  Flashcards.  James loves those things.  I'm always so surprised at how much he loves when I sit down with him in my lap for something educational.  My busy boy loves to read books, and maybe it's because Ella and I do addition flashcards every day, but he loves them now.  Shapes, colors, numbers, I'm so proud of him when he identifies the "bue scare." i.e. blue square

Getting ready for church, Ella came in to my bathroom, a pink sparkly shoe on one foot, a black flip-flop on the other, to ask me which shoe looked better with her outfit.  We made it out the door with 3 drinks, snacks and drinks for Awana, Bible-story cards, Sparks vest and book, diapers, wipes, extra shorts for James just in case, purse, phone, dish to return to T...never underestimate just how many things you have to carry with you when you go out the door.

Stress levels disappeared when the kids started jamming out to The Parent Trap soundtrack, and I look back and see James' twinkling blue eyes and happy face singing along, Ella with her expressive brown eyes.

Driving home from church with the music blaring, the kids carrying-on loudly in the backseat (thankfully, having fun together and not fighting!), I marveled that I didn't lose my mind and have a wreck.  Grace of God.  I'm tired by the time we get home, and James must be, too.  After requesting me to take off his jeans and commanding me to clean up his new flashcards (in a really cute voice, of course), he inquired if it was nighttime.

Yes.

I go to bed.

James in bed, Ella playing with her new Barbie doll bought with birthday money that day, I sit.  For a moment.  Then brushed teeth for the Ella-girl, too, and in the bed she must go, and I sit for a few more moments and feel thankful for a time to feel the peace of God's grace over our lives.  Because there are moments when I don't, when I feel "distressed" as Ella says.  

And that's what a day of mothering is like.