Mind Renewal in the Morning

Ever since KJ went to Cuba in May I've been waking up early every morning.  In some ways I've enjoyed it.  I like being up while the house is quiet (it's the only quiet until around 8:45 tonight!) and having a chance to come slowly out of my sleepy fog while drinking my Diet Mountain Dew.  There are other times when I resent being awakened early, especially when I know my body needs more sleep.  KJ would tell me I should just roll back over, but I'm not a roll-back-over kind of person. I'm a, "It's morning!  There's so much to do today!" kind of a person.


This morning has been full of reminders of what a precious blessing I've been given in my children.  It's filled me with a desire to serve them joyfully, not worrying about what I "give up."  I read the best article written by a mother of five that several of my other young-mom friends recommended.

"So lay down your hopes. Lay down your future. Lay down your petty annoyances. Lay down your desire to be recognized. Lay down your fussiness at your children. Lay down your perfectly clean house. Lay down your grievances about the life you are living. Lay down the imaginary life you could have had by yourself. Let it go.

Death to yourself is not the end of the story. We, of all people, ought to know what follows death. The Christian life is resurrection life, life that cannot be contained by death, the kind of life that is only possible when you have been to the cross and back."

"Stop clinging to yourself and cling to the cross. There is more joy and more life and more laughter on the other side of death than you can possibly carry alone."


Learning to die to your own selfish desires is such a gradual process.  If only it could happen all at once!  But this morning I felt my love grow a little more and felt it a little easier to really believe all that everyone who has been there says:  These precious little children are only little once.  Child-rearing is such a fleeting season.  I know it's true.  Where did my own childhood go?  And right now, I'm still the most important person in their world, wielding (almost) the most influence.  


So this morning I'm desiring grace to love Ella and James more than myself and to put their needs before mine and already beginning to feel the freedom that comes with doing that.  Though I must admit, I'm also laughing to myself and wondering what petty annoyance will rise up that will make this difficult?  Will James dump the trash all over the floor?  Will Ella have a melodramatic melt-down if I make her wear shorts and not a dress?  Probably.  Here's to a grace-filled day for us all.

"...He awakens Me morning by morning,

He awakens My ear to listen as a disciple."

Isaiah 50:4