New Mercies

I can't really think of a word to describe my feelings of the past couple of days, so I won't try, but I'll just say that I've been in need of a lot of building up.  I have realized that being a wife and mother is pure servanthood ALL day long, and that can be so exhausting.  I would love to sit back and say, "It is finished and it is good," as I look at my clean and organized home and my happy and content children, but somehow that never happens.  There are always more dirty dishes and more dirty laundry and a baby who needs a change of scenery and a new toy and a 3-year-old who always needs, "a drink, fruit snacks, candy, play-doh, something to do, help in the bathroom, etc."  So between doing the bidding of my children, trying to meet the needs of my husband and keeping up with the myriad of other jobs involved in "keeping a home" I feel like I'm losing my mind at times.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE tending to the needs of my husband, children, and home.  It is a great joy.  But sometimes the demands are so many, and my hands do not seem to have enough strength for the task.  I am extremely thankful KJ is home today.  He has been vacuuming and tending to Ella, and is now helping her water her flowers so I can have a few semi-peaceful moments.  Oh, the relief!  I wish I could have an entire day of relief, but alas, that is not to be for 6 more months, so I will have to hold out.  I think I've decided that KJ and I are heading to England as soon as possible.  There I will roam the countryside and London and Bath and be happy....that probably won't happen next year, though, because the strange thing about being a mother is that as much as you want to get away for a little while you can't stand being away from your precious ones who are so tied to your heart.

This morning I was finishing up Romans and in chapter 15 started thinking how different my life was from Paul's.  He lived without so many comforts, including home and family, and went from place to place sharing the gospel.  Paul had a special calling, and others may receive a call like his, but not everyone is called to live like he did.  Soon after having that thought, I came to verse 13 of chapter 16:  "Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord; also his mother, who has been a mother to me as well."  That verse lifted my heart up.

Motherhood is a hard and holy call to serve and serve and serve again.  And sometimes I wonder how much it matters.  Mothers work hard in the background so their husbands and children can look good and succeed in all their endeavors.  And sometimes we spend most of our time within the confines of our home.  But mothers are important.  Even the Apostle Paul needed someone to "mother" him in his travels.  In verse 12 he mentions three other women who "worked hard in the Lord," and the ministry of Rufus' mother touched his heart so much she earned a place in holy writ.  This was enough today to make my hands feel stronger and more joyful about the task of mothering.